On Second Thoughts…

It was time for TBN Solstice’s second meeting!

May brought us the second meeting of the new TBN Solstice.  The numbers shifted and a curtain was drawn across the room, adding a sense of mystery… what was behind the curtain?  Would the second event live up the excitement of the first?

Alongside the tried, trusted, and proven process of our round-tables, we added three key messages from Neville Thomson, Sam Dyer, and Lex McKee.  All focused on the power to influence with integrity.

Neville drew comparisons to high performing stars of sport.  Sam opened the door to the most effective abbreviated introduction to Neuro-Linguistic Programming I’ve ever heard.  Lex (c’est moi!) shared his strategy for remembering people’s names, and not just their faces!

What has Jimmy Connors got to do with Networking?

Neville’s vast experience with coaching sports shone through.  The signature quote was from an interview with Jimmy Connors.  Jimmy said, “I hate to lose more than I love to win!” Neville suggested this was at the heart of many an American’s ability to remain resilient and positive in the face of near-impossible odds.

Sports’ Psychology has much to offer modern business networking, so pick Neville’s brain to tap into that rich vein of experience in coaching!

There are only three things that matter: Sales… Sales…… and Sales………

So says Sam Dyer one of our resident NLP Gurus (Neuro-Linguistic Programming).  In a refreshingly shameless plug for his own programme, Sam took us through the fundamentals of NLP in the context of adding impact to our networking.

Here are some of the key skills:

  • Using more senses to make more sense – if someone uses visual language (“I see…” “I get the picture…” “Could you show me what you mean?”) the wise networker will match that person’s ‘representational system’ – and Sam warned us there would be some big words! If someone was using more auditory language (“That struck a chord with me…” “I hear what you are saying…”  “I’d like more harmony in my team…”) the wise network can talk in sonic linguistics! And this list of magical words and phrases can be discovered on Sam’s programme.
  • Mirroring and Matching. If you break a mirror superstition offers you a disempowering belief that you’ll have seven years bad luck.  Putting that nonsense to one side, it is nevertheless true that people who like us, behave like us – even to the point of echoing our body posture, movements, verbal tone, and pace of moving and speaking.  In NLP, this is called Mirroring and Matching.  In terms of the value to your TBN Networking, check for a broken mirror.  If you aren’t getting on with someone, just choose to notice whether they are in a similar posture to you, delivering at a similar pace, or whether you are both out of sync… thus breaking the mirror.  Agreement in mind and purpose is ‘mirrored’ in agreement of posture and pace.
  • Use everything to enhance your message. One of the things I enjoyed most about Sam’s delivery was his use of distractions to serve his purpose.  When someone’s phone went off, he skilfully wove that noise into his message, mentioning how the point “rings a bell!”
  • We all use programmes… So, Sam skilfully bridged his own message back into Neville’s by drawing attention to the fact that Jimmy Conner’s strategy of “I hate to lose more than I love to win,” was what NLPers call an ‘away from’ metaprogramme. ‘Away from’ people leave the washing up until there are no plates left… then they wash up.  They are ‘away from’ mess.  They’re pretty similar with their bookkeeping!  The opposite (meta)programme is to be ‘towards’ – you know, the kind of people who do the washing up straight after a meal because they are motivated ‘towards’ having a clean kitchen.

My apologies to you all that I didn’t capture Neville’s presentation (I’d been sorting out slides for him instead), but you can review Sam’s pitch on our Facebook page and by following this YouTube link: https://youtu.be/byZsmC4EQoc

The Face Rings a Bell

Finally, Lex shared his own difficulty with remembering people’s names, and how he has overcome this by using a deliberate strategy: FACES.

  • Focus and Fancy and Fascinating – focus in the moment and find something fanciable or fascinating about them!
  • Association with the sound of their name – e.g. Lex as in Luthor!
  • Chorus – repeating their name until we are certain we are pronouncing it right.
  • Eye Colour – with the eyes being the windows of the soul. Soul to Soul contact is always through the eyes…  Can you remember their eye-colour?
  • Smile – as the Universal message of “I’m OK; You’re OK!” especially when you get the name wrong.

I didn’t video my live presentation but rather recorded a piece of eLearning for you.  As an example of content from the forthcoming The Boardroom Education membership site, you can see the expanded presentation here: https://youtu.be/UE-v2CxX6aw

Trust this process and follow it, and you’ll never have to forget someone’s name ever again! Remembering people is an essential skill for making a positive impression when networking.

My belief is that we have all the resourceful people we will ever need to meet within the rooms at our three TBN events.  The key is to engage with these resourceful people in a meaningful, memorable,  and value-adding manner.

Thus, using Sports’ Psychology for building high performance, or using NLP to establish deep and enduring rapport where ‘know, like, and trust’ abound, or simply blowing folks away by remembering their names – all these are key business development skills that working within The Boardroom Network naturally enhances.

Up Next!

Join us for the next Solstice Event on 28th June 2018,  7:00 am – 9:00 am at The Stones Hotel, High Post Salisbury!

Blog written by Lex McKee